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Ever notice how a man will "court" you, pursueyou, and do all kinds of amazing and romanticthings to win your heart as you're getting to knoweach other... But, after a little while, the romance,passion, and intimacy that he used to be soexcited about and create, starts to "fizzle out"once you're into a committed relationship? If you've ever found yourself in a situationwith a man who you knew was a great guy but hestarted acting immature, depended on you for toomany things (and didn't appreciate you for them)and all the while you kept giving more and more totry and make things work better and keep you
closerwhy so many women endup in unfulfilling relationships with men who"TAKE TAKE TAKE", and why these women so often endup getting little back for all their efforts. First off, tell me if this sounds at allfamiliar... You meet a great guy and you start dating. The "chemistry" is simply AMAZING and you can'tbelieve how into connecting and sharing he is...even on that emotional level where other men oftenfall flat. You spend time together and keep growingcloser, and you start to believe that maybe you'vefinally found that amazing friend, companion andlover all in one. He's so open and caring... and listens and paysattention to you and what's going with you in away that few men you've met can. Your connection is unbelievable. You both know you can count on each other inways that feel like you're closer than you havebeen with a man in a long, long time. Since you're both so close, he starts to dependon you for a few things in his life... and you'rehappy to help him since you really care about himand are a generous and loving person. But, as time goes on, something starts toslowly "shift". It starts with small things... He starts acting a little differently, andstops doing a lot of the things he used to do thatmade you admire and respect him. Somehow, he seems less confident, present, and"connected" with you. And then you notice... There's something different about how hedepends on you, and it sets off your "radar". You start to wonder if how he is with you isentirely healthy. You start to feel "drained" with him and withthe relationship more and more... but you knowthat a relationship is about give and take, so youkeep giving and have faith that things are goingfine. More time passes and you start to noticesomething else... You see that he isn't becoming moreappreciative of all the things you're doing forhim and your relationship. In fact, it feels like he's starting to takemore and more of it for granted. Actually, he seems LESS APPRECIATIVE of you andyour relationship in general. He starts asking and depending on you evenmore, without any real thanks or reciprocation. The more he does this, the more you sense thatthere's a kind of needy "childishness" inside himthat's becoming clearer. You want to be there for him and be a greatpartner... but you also want that fun, strong,playful, loving, confident man back who was therebefore things changed. With all this going on, you're not exactly sureof what to do about it or what's going on for himthat's making him act this way. He doesn't seem to pay you the same attention,give the same affection and support that you givehim, and it's starting to feel unfair and botheryou. Your relationship is starting to feel like it'sall about making sure "he's" happy. Which of course doesn't leave much room forwhat's going on for YOU. You know things can't go on this way if yourrelationship is going to work and be somethingworthwhile and "real". He's got to see what's going on and stop beingso self-involved. You know that he's had some challenges in hisown life and maybe he just doesn't see what'sgoing on. So, you decide to not make a big dealout of it. But, you know that something needs tochange... soon. So, you finally decide to talk to him aboutwhat's going on. You go over in your head again and again whatyou're going to say to him and what's been goingon for the last several months. You're sure that he'll see what's beenhappening and all the things you've been doing forhim and the relationship, and he'll give you someunderstanding. But when you talk to him, it doesn't work outthis way... AT ALL. Instead of hearing you and your intentions toget things back to a better place between you two,he just becomes frustrated, irritated andDEFENSIVE with you. Instead of hearing you, he makes you feel likeyou're "nagging" him and creating "drama". He even acts like you're the one beingridiculous and withdraws from you. Does any of this sound familiar to you? This situation where you know you're giving andgetting less than nothing back SUCKS. And unfortunately, it's a common experiencelots of women have in relationships with men. Now, there are about 50 things I could tell youabout how men are at fault and create theseproblems for themselves and for you in yourrelationship. But the reality is that you've already spenthours thinking about this before and have a lot ofyour own ideas about this. That is partially why I'm NOT going to talkabout what's going on with men here and what to doabout it. At least not yet. Right now we're going to talk about YOU. Why? Because thinking about YOURSELF is the firststep towards real GROWTH and AWARENESS in EVERYRELATIONSHIP you have in your life. You could spend days, weeks, months or yearsworrying about a man, what he thinks, and why hedoes the things he does. But if you want to be smart... And you want relationships to start "working"for you, instead of seeming like a neverendingsource of frustration and disappointment trying toget a man to make the relationship work... Then you'll make sure you have things handledfor yourself first. And that way you'll have the CERTAINTY thatonly comes from understanding what's happening inthe relationship around you... and what YOU needto do in each situation that comes up with a man. THE ONE QUESTION THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIPWITH A MAN INSTANTLY If you're at the most basic levels of what Icall "emotional maturity" in your life, thenyou've started to recognize something veryimportant and significant about yourself... You've recognized that you have a few PATTERNScoming up in your relationships. Of course, some of these patterns are positivetraits that bring benefits, center around yourpersonal preferences, and involve things you bringinto your life CONSCIOUSLY and for good reason. But the reality is these aren't the only kindof patterns you have in your life. You also have a special group of "negativepatterns". Patterns that you save just for MEN. So, let me ask you a very simple question. It's a question that could very well change thecourse of your love life IMMEDIATELY once youanswer it. Here's the question - Do you know your "negative patterns" inrelationships with men? You might have a few of these that you alreadyknow about that you can rattle off in your headright now without really thinking about it. THESE ARE NOT THE PATTERNS I'M LOOKING FOR TOIMPROVE YOUR LOVE LIFE. You already know about these patterns and thisknowledge still doesn't seem to be helping you ifyou're running into the same issues and situationsagain and again. Which is why it's obvious that "what" youalready know isn't going to help you learn andgrow past these situations with men for good. You need to expand your PERSPECTIVE. That's why I'm looking for the patterns thatyou DON'T see right now, and that you aren'tCONSCIOUS of. Here's where we're going to take ACTION... Right now, I want you to give yourself the timeand space for the next 5 minutes to think aboutyour own patterns in your past or presentrelationships with men. And, I want you to put everything else asidejust for a few short moments while you focus onYOURSELF. By the way, if you don't have time to do thisnow, then you probably never will. And, I know it's a simple question, but theAWARENESS and GROWTH that can come from youranswer is what's going to change your love lifeimmediately. So now that you've made the time, I want youto think about the following - I want you to come up with at least TWO of yourown negative relationship patterns with men. And I don't just mean patterns that are reallyabout men... such as "I always pick men that areclueless about loving relationships." This is focusing on HIM, not YOU. I mean something like "I meet men and quicklyspend all my time with them. But soon I see thatI've "lost myself" and I am not able to have ahealthy balance. And inevitably, we end upbreaking up and I resent all the time I spent onthe relationship and him, instead of spending moretime on myself." That's one common example lots of women haveexperienced. Now, it's your turn. I want you to come up with 2 other patternsthat have to do with YOU and things that come fromYOUR THINKING or BEHAVIOR.What if the problems that come up in yournegative pattern are caused by these traits? And what if the traits in your negativepattern didn't represent just your personalWEAKNESSES? What if they ALSO represented your personalSTRENGTHS at the same time? If you were thinking that you should get rid ofthe trait or quality entirely that's involved inyour negative pattern so that things will workbetter in the future... then you're going to thatplace of "All or Nothing Thinking". There's a lot of power and AWARENESS created inwhat you just did when you think about it... IFyou stay aware of this when you're interactingwith a man in your relationship. When you see how your WEAKNESSES, that you'vebeen giving yourself a hard time about and tryingto figure out how to get rid of, are also part ofyour STRENGTHS... things you never could haveunderstood will start to become clear to you. Challenges, issues, attitudes and hurtfulthings that a man brings to you that relate toyour patterns, and these traits will start to lookdifferently to you... And you'll start to have an amazing sense ofCLARITY about what's the best thing to do for you,for him, and for your relationship. A "STRANGE TRUTH" ABOUT THE PEOPLE ANDRELATIONSHIPS YOU ATTRACT IN LIFE AND LOVE You've got some basic tools to work with now tounderstand more about what's going on with you andyour relationship with a man. But it really only starts here. Are you CLEAR on how these 2 patterns come upin your life? Do you know how to avoid "All or NothingThinking" the next time it comes up and tries tocreate DISTANCE between you and a man. Do you know where these thoughts come from andwhat to do to stay conscious and overcome thenegative aspects of your other destructiverelationship patterns? Do you know how to guide a man to start doingthese same things to improve HIMSELF and the wayhe is in your relationship, so you don't have totry and convince him of what's going on that hecan't see or isn't paying attention to? Most women who aren't in a happy, healthy,loving, lasting relationship don't have thisknowledge and the ability to stay connected with aman that comes along with it. The strange truth is, patterns aren't justcoincidences in your life. They keep repeating in your life for a reason. What are the lessons that keep coming up foryou in your love life that you can't learn fromwhere you are today, but keep coming at you? The reality is that you have a choice... You can keep repeating these patterns, andexperiencing the pain and frustration that comeswith them again and again... This is the "easy" choice that doesn't ask orrequire you to learn and grow at all. OR... You can create a "shift" in your life. You can choose to have more AWARENESS and moreGROWTH... which will of course bring new ways ofseeing things, and best of all, NEW RESULTS inyour relationship. The choice is yours right now. I've put together what I think is the VERY BESTprogram just for a woman like you that will createthe GROWTH and AWARENESS you're looking for inyour love life. It's called "From Casual To Committed". If you've ever wondered why you get "stuck"with a man once you get to a certain level ofconnection and intimacy... and then things seem togo backwards and he withdraws... then this programis going to change your life and yourrelationship. One of the most critical things that's going oninside a relationship when a "casual", or even acommitted relationship, starts to wrong, eventhough there's no lack of love or caring betweenthe man and woman, is FEAR. And I don't just mean YOUR FEARS... I'm talkingabout a HIS FEARS too. Inside this CD/DVD program I go DEEP into whatfear is in relationships, how it works into theentire relationship "system"... and how to breakout of the negative cycles and patterns of FEARthen ANGER then WITHDRAWAL. There's a reason why most men pull away andsabotage perfectly good, loving relationshipswith women. And there's a reason why YOUR FEARS are onlymaking these things with a man WORSE. There are clear steps that you can take tochange your love life and relationship, no matterwhere you are right now with a man. Shifting your PERSPECTIVE and becoming MORECONSCIOUS is your first step... some of whichwe've touched on here. You can stop the unnecessary PATTERNS. You can come to terms with, and understand, theFEARS. And you can find out, once and for all, why itis that men so often put up RESISTANCE to becomingmore connected, closer and MORE COMMITTED with YOUon a physical and emotional level. Don't let go of this opportunity to haveLASTING CHANGE and IMPROVEMENT to the quality ofyour love life and all your relationships.
closerwhy so many women endup in unfulfilling relationships with men who"TAKE TAKE TAKE", and why these women so often endup getting little back for all their efforts. First off, tell me if this sounds at allfamiliar... You meet a great guy and you start dating. The "chemistry" is simply AMAZING and you can'tbelieve how into connecting and sharing he is...even on that emotional level where other men oftenfall flat. You spend time together and keep growingcloser, and you start to believe that maybe you'vefinally found that amazing friend, companion andlover all in one. He's so open and caring... and listens and paysattention to you and what's going with you in away that few men you've met can. Your connection is unbelievable. You both know you can count on each other inways that feel like you're closer than you havebeen with a man in a long, long time. Since you're both so close, he starts to dependon you for a few things in his life... and you'rehappy to help him since you really care about himand are a generous and loving person. But, as time goes on, something starts toslowly "shift". It starts with small things... He starts acting a little differently, andstops doing a lot of the things he used to do thatmade you admire and respect him. Somehow, he seems less confident, present, and"connected" with you. And then you notice... There's something different about how hedepends on you, and it sets off your "radar". You start to wonder if how he is with you isentirely healthy. You start to feel "drained" with him and withthe relationship more and more... but you knowthat a relationship is about give and take, so youkeep giving and have faith that things are goingfine. More time passes and you start to noticesomething else... You see that he isn't becoming moreappreciative of all the things you're doing forhim and your relationship. In fact, it feels like he's starting to takemore and more of it for granted. Actually, he seems LESS APPRECIATIVE of you andyour relationship in general. He starts asking and depending on you evenmore, without any real thanks or reciprocation. The more he does this, the more you sense thatthere's a kind of needy "childishness" inside himthat's becoming clearer. You want to be there for him and be a greatpartner... but you also want that fun, strong,playful, loving, confident man back who was therebefore things changed. With all this going on, you're not exactly sureof what to do about it or what's going on for himthat's making him act this way. He doesn't seem to pay you the same attention,give the same affection and support that you givehim, and it's starting to feel unfair and botheryou. Your relationship is starting to feel like it'sall about making sure "he's" happy. Which of course doesn't leave much room forwhat's going on for YOU. You know things can't go on this way if yourrelationship is going to work and be somethingworthwhile and "real". He's got to see what's going on and stop beingso self-involved. You know that he's had some challenges in hisown life and maybe he just doesn't see what'sgoing on. So, you decide to not make a big dealout of it. But, you know that something needs tochange... soon. So, you finally decide to talk to him aboutwhat's going on. You go over in your head again and again whatyou're going to say to him and what's been goingon for the last several months. You're sure that he'll see what's beenhappening and all the things you've been doing forhim and the relationship, and he'll give you someunderstanding. But when you talk to him, it doesn't work outthis way... AT ALL. Instead of hearing you and your intentions toget things back to a better place between you two,he just becomes frustrated, irritated andDEFENSIVE with you. Instead of hearing you, he makes you feel likeyou're "nagging" him and creating "drama". He even acts like you're the one beingridiculous and withdraws from you. Does any of this sound familiar to you? This situation where you know you're giving andgetting less than nothing back SUCKS. And unfortunately, it's a common experiencelots of women have in relationships with men. Now, there are about 50 things I could tell youabout how men are at fault and create theseproblems for themselves and for you in yourrelationship. But the reality is that you've already spenthours thinking about this before and have a lot ofyour own ideas about this. That is partially why I'm NOT going to talkabout what's going on with men here and what to doabout it. At least not yet. Right now we're going to talk about YOU. Why? Because thinking about YOURSELF is the firststep towards real GROWTH and AWARENESS in EVERYRELATIONSHIP you have in your life. You could spend days, weeks, months or yearsworrying about a man, what he thinks, and why hedoes the things he does. But if you want to be smart... And you want relationships to start "working"for you, instead of seeming like a neverendingsource of frustration and disappointment trying toget a man to make the relationship work... Then you'll make sure you have things handledfor yourself first. And that way you'll have the CERTAINTY thatonly comes from understanding what's happening inthe relationship around you... and what YOU needto do in each situation that comes up with a man. THE ONE QUESTION THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIPWITH A MAN INSTANTLY If you're at the most basic levels of what Icall "emotional maturity" in your life, thenyou've started to recognize something veryimportant and significant about yourself... You've recognized that you have a few PATTERNScoming up in your relationships. Of course, some of these patterns are positivetraits that bring benefits, center around yourpersonal preferences, and involve things you bringinto your life CONSCIOUSLY and for good reason. But the reality is these aren't the only kindof patterns you have in your life. You also have a special group of "negativepatterns". Patterns that you save just for MEN. So, let me ask you a very simple question. It's a question that could very well change thecourse of your love life IMMEDIATELY once youanswer it. Here's the question - Do you know your "negative patterns" inrelationships with men? You might have a few of these that you alreadyknow about that you can rattle off in your headright now without really thinking about it. THESE ARE NOT THE PATTERNS I'M LOOKING FOR TOIMPROVE YOUR LOVE LIFE. You already know about these patterns and thisknowledge still doesn't seem to be helping you ifyou're running into the same issues and situationsagain and again. Which is why it's obvious that "what" youalready know isn't going to help you learn andgrow past these situations with men for good. You need to expand your PERSPECTIVE. That's why I'm looking for the patterns thatyou DON'T see right now, and that you aren'tCONSCIOUS of. Here's where we're going to take ACTION... Right now, I want you to give yourself the timeand space for the next 5 minutes to think aboutyour own patterns in your past or presentrelationships with men. And, I want you to put everything else asidejust for a few short moments while you focus onYOURSELF. By the way, if you don't have time to do thisnow, then you probably never will. And, I know it's a simple question, but theAWARENESS and GROWTH that can come from youranswer is what's going to change your love lifeimmediately. So now that you've made the time, I want youto think about the following - I want you to come up with at least TWO of yourown negative relationship patterns with men. And I don't just mean patterns that are reallyabout men... such as "I always pick men that areclueless about loving relationships." This is focusing on HIM, not YOU. I mean something like "I meet men and quicklyspend all my time with them. But soon I see thatI've "lost myself" and I am not able to have ahealthy balance. And inevitably, we end upbreaking up and I resent all the time I spent onthe relationship and him, instead of spending moretime on myself." That's one common example lots of women haveexperienced. Now, it's your turn. I want you to come up with 2 other patternsthat have to do with YOU and things that come fromYOUR THINKING or BEHAVIOR.What if the problems that come up in yournegative pattern are caused by these traits? And what if the traits in your negativepattern didn't represent just your personalWEAKNESSES? What if they ALSO represented your personalSTRENGTHS at the same time? If you were thinking that you should get rid ofthe trait or quality entirely that's involved inyour negative pattern so that things will workbetter in the future... then you're going to thatplace of "All or Nothing Thinking". There's a lot of power and AWARENESS created inwhat you just did when you think about it... IFyou stay aware of this when you're interactingwith a man in your relationship. When you see how your WEAKNESSES, that you'vebeen giving yourself a hard time about and tryingto figure out how to get rid of, are also part ofyour STRENGTHS... things you never could haveunderstood will start to become clear to you. Challenges, issues, attitudes and hurtfulthings that a man brings to you that relate toyour patterns, and these traits will start to lookdifferently to you... And you'll start to have an amazing sense ofCLARITY about what's the best thing to do for you,for him, and for your relationship. A "STRANGE TRUTH" ABOUT THE PEOPLE ANDRELATIONSHIPS YOU ATTRACT IN LIFE AND LOVE You've got some basic tools to work with now tounderstand more about what's going on with you andyour relationship with a man. But it really only starts here. Are you CLEAR on how these 2 patterns come upin your life? Do you know how to avoid "All or NothingThinking" the next time it comes up and tries tocreate DISTANCE between you and a man. Do you know where these thoughts come from andwhat to do to stay conscious and overcome thenegative aspects of your other destructiverelationship patterns? Do you know how to guide a man to start doingthese same things to improve HIMSELF and the wayhe is in your relationship, so you don't have totry and convince him of what's going on that hecan't see or isn't paying attention to? Most women who aren't in a happy, healthy,loving, lasting relationship don't have thisknowledge and the ability to stay connected with aman that comes along with it. The strange truth is, patterns aren't justcoincidences in your life. They keep repeating in your life for a reason. What are the lessons that keep coming up foryou in your love life that you can't learn fromwhere you are today, but keep coming at you? The reality is that you have a choice... You can keep repeating these patterns, andexperiencing the pain and frustration that comeswith them again and again... This is the "easy" choice that doesn't ask orrequire you to learn and grow at all. OR... You can create a "shift" in your life. You can choose to have more AWARENESS and moreGROWTH... which will of course bring new ways ofseeing things, and best of all, NEW RESULTS inyour relationship. The choice is yours right now. I've put together what I think is the VERY BESTprogram just for a woman like you that will createthe GROWTH and AWARENESS you're looking for inyour love life. It's called "From Casual To Committed". If you've ever wondered why you get "stuck"with a man once you get to a certain level ofconnection and intimacy... and then things seem togo backwards and he withdraws... then this programis going to change your life and yourrelationship. One of the most critical things that's going oninside a relationship when a "casual", or even acommitted relationship, starts to wrong, eventhough there's no lack of love or caring betweenthe man and woman, is FEAR. And I don't just mean YOUR FEARS... I'm talkingabout a HIS FEARS too. Inside this CD/DVD program I go DEEP into whatfear is in relationships, how it works into theentire relationship "system"... and how to breakout of the negative cycles and patterns of FEARthen ANGER then WITHDRAWAL. There's a reason why most men pull away andsabotage perfectly good, loving relationshipswith women. And there's a reason why YOUR FEARS are onlymaking these things with a man WORSE. There are clear steps that you can take tochange your love life and relationship, no matterwhere you are right now with a man. Shifting your PERSPECTIVE and becoming MORECONSCIOUS is your first step... some of whichwe've touched on here. You can stop the unnecessary PATTERNS. You can come to terms with, and understand, theFEARS. And you can find out, once and for all, why itis that men so often put up RESISTANCE to becomingmore connected, closer and MORE COMMITTED with YOUon a physical and emotional level. Don't let go of this opportunity to haveLASTING CHANGE and IMPROVEMENT to the quality ofyour love life and all your relationships.
posted by peanut at 4:52 AM
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