changes

uncertainty

2007-11-27T20:37:00.000-08:00

Looking toward the future
With a frightened eye
Staring down uncertainty
Trying to pass the quiet nights
Without letting my mind go ashtray
There are too many thoughts
I cant bear to think
Too many possibilities
I don’t have the courage to consider
Just blinded by dreams gone away
Living in past
Checkered with defeats
And
Cradling ideals long
Sine lost
f-o-r-g-o-t-t-e-n
no journey has gone
..the direction I planned
No spirit has moved
…at the place I wanted
So now, I sit here
Completely out of dreams
Pining for what should I have been
But never will be…
Frightened by
Possibilities..
Turned into destinies
And clinging on to improbable hope
Slipping through my fingers
Uncertain
About everything
Destined….
For nothing
but what I despise
theres no glorious future
…
Theres no happy end
…
Just a game of self deceit….
…
That…
…
Never quiete fulfills…

how cud it be????

2006-09-04T07:15:00.000-07:00

"What do I do when a guy isn't calling or
initiating things the way he used to?"

Or...

"We've been dating for a little while and I
know we have a special connection. But when I
talked to him about us being something more
'serious' he freaked out. What should I do now?"

Or...

"How can I talk to a man and have him open up
and share what's going on inside, when he is being
more and more distant?"

In fact, these questions might be some of the
areas that women want to know about most.

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past
year or so about what allows some particular women
to create a deep level of CONNECTION and
ATTRACTION with the men in their lives... while
other women have little or no success and
therefore have trouble when it comes to creating a
real, lasting, loving relationship with a man.

I'm talking about the kind of connection that
will make the typical challenges other women face
with men in relationships feel effortless.

The kind of connection that goes BEYOND
PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.

The kind of connection that creates a lasting
"emotional bond" that's deeper than something just
sexual.

The kind of connection that tells a man that
the woman he's with is the one and only woman for
him... without the woman having to ever say a word
to convince him of it to get him to commit.

In other words, I've been watching women (and
the men they're with) to see if I could figure out
why some women are able to create intense physical
AND emotional attachments inside of men...

While other women seem to have little or no
luck at this, no matter how hard they want it or
try.

I've figured out a lot since I started looking
at all this. And if you've read my eBook, then
you're already familiar with the concept of the
"cool girl" that I talk about.

A "cool girl" is a phrase men use with each
other when they're talking about a woman who
"naturally" knows how to relate to, respond to and
interact with men in a fun and interesting way.

And among men, this carries a lot of power.

You might have noticed that guys will praise
their friend if they see that the girl he's with
is a "cool girl". They'll encourage him to spend
time with her and ask him to bring her around as
part of their "inner circle".

Needless to say, this has a strong conscious
and subconscious effect on how a man feels about a
woman in his life.

On the other hand...

If a guy's friends see that the woman their
friend is dating ISN'T a "cool girl", they'll
often make negative remarks to encourage their
friend to spend less time with her, and subtly
discourage him from committing much of his time or
attention to being with her.

After paying more and more attention to this
idea that men have of the "cool girl", I also
started to notice something else FASCINATING...

Men can almost instantly know if a woman is or
is NOT a "cool girl" just by seeing how she reacts
and responds to common social situations.

It's like they have UN-cool girl radar that
will pick up even the slightest signal.

But don't worry, I've also found that you don't
have to be born a "cool girl".

In fact, it's something any woman can easily
learn if she wants to change her interactions with
men for the better.

So let's talk about how to use the idea of the
"cool girl" to have an easier level of connection
and open communication with men in your dating
life, or in your relationship.

So what is a "cool girl"?

And what is it about a woman who's "cool" that
makes men feel more attracted to her than an
"uncool" woman?

If you want to quickly get your hands on what
has already helped literally thousands of other
women start to break out of the unsuccessful
patterns in their dating lives and
relationships... and can help you change things
when the man you want to be with just isn't
"feeling it" for you and either stops calling,
pulls away, or just won't move things forward with
you...

Then it's time you downloaded a copy of my
eBook "Catch Him & Keep Him".

It's literally jam-packed with specific how-
to's, ideas, and strategies to have a man feeling
that deep level of attraction that will drive
things forward between you and him, and keep him
wanting to become closer and closer with you.

You can download your copy of my eBook right
now and be reading it in literally a few minutes.

Isn't your love life worth it?

Go here to download your copy and be on your
way to the love life you know is possible now:

Now, back to the "cool girl" and how men see
and respond instantly when they see that a woman
thinks and behaves as a cool girl does...

Let me tell you a few quick mini-stories about
women I've known who were UN-cool to help you see
what's going on here...

One friend I used to have LOVED to argue with
people.

She would start arguments about anything and
always take the opposite perspective on every
topic. She did this with men all the time too.

I think she felt like she was coming across as
smart, independent and confident when she argued.

Guess what?

Men hated it and got a bad taste in their mouth
as soon as she started in.

Her friends hated it too. She was UN-cool
because her insecurity was so strong that she had
to argue to get attention and feel important.

Another friend I have has always tried to do
nice things and favors for the man she liked or
was dating at the time.

As soon as she would meet a man she liked, she
would try to find something she could do for him.

Of course, she got upset when the man didn't
return her favor or gift with the feelings of
affection she wanted to receive in return... and
she acted upset and "taken advantage of".

As time went on, she became more and more
convinced that all men were selfish jerks.

All this, of course, made men sense danger and
run away because they intuitively knew a world of
desperation and emotional frustration was waiting
just under the surface for any guy who spent time
with her.

As you can probably guess, she was trying to
barter with men and manipulate them into giving
her what she thought she wanted through her favors
and "bribes".

Guess what?

None of these made men FEEL anything for her
like she had hoped, even though she thought she
was showing men what a great person and a great
"catch" she was, and encouraging them to feel love
and appreciation for her.

Some men actually had a hard time finding
respect for her because of her supposed
"generosity".

They sensed that her "gifts" weren't given out
of the kindness of her heart, but to try and win
their approval and buy their affections.

I know another woman who loves to tell men when
she first meets them that she's so easygoing when
it comes to relationships that she'd rather have a
"casual" thing.

She even says things like, "I don't want the
drama of a serious relationship right now. Men are
too much trouble."

Of course, as she gets a few weeks or months
into a situation with a man, it always seems to
turn out the same...

She changes her mind in an instant. And without
even talking to the guy about it, or remembering
how things got started, she starts resenting her
situation and the man she's with for it not being
more than what it is.

The man inevitably sees her behavior and
attitude change and becomes frustrated and
negative.

And without ever talking to the guy about it,
she turns on him and lets him have an earful of
how unhappy she is with their situation and with
him - blaming him for putting her in the
situation.

Now, all three of the women I've mentioned
above have different problems... but the way I see
it, they're all strangely related.

Here are a few more quick stories about women I
know who are "cool".

One woman I know always has a group of fun and
loving people around her. In fact, I don't think
I've ever hung out with this woman and not had
people wanting to spend time with her and be a
part of the atmosphere she creates.

People seem to open up and become their best
around her.

We can't go anywhere without people wanting to
say hi to her and connect with her for at least a
minute or two.

Of course, she always has several good guys
around too, wanting to talk and hang out with her,
and she teases them and treats them like good
friends who she's comfortable enough to be fun and
playful with.

She's not a supermodel, she isn't the most
outgoing person in the world, and she's not a
"player" type just looking for attention from a
bunch of guys.

In fact, she just married recently, to a really
great guy.

She DOES, on the other hand, make it her
business, even now, to know how and where to go
out to have a good time and surround herself with
great people, day or night.

Her life is, and will always be, full of great
people and great stories.

Stories that the man in her life always wants
to be a part of.

I have another friend that is really amazing.
But she does something that's rather unusual,
especially when she's around men. She's one of
those women who is always completely honest and
"present" with her feelings and intentions.

Of course, this doesn't mean that she gets
"over-emotional" often, or tells people negative
or disappointing things.

She knows exactly how to be in touch with her
mind and body in a way that lets her feel and
express herself without "dramatizing", and without
judgment.

People, men and women, can't help but be drawn
in by her magnetic energy and confident and direct
attitude.

And they always have an instant level of
respect and admiration for her.

It's always a breath of fresh air to be talking
and interacting with her.

Somehow, the men that are around always want to
talk to HER. And all the guys she knows think of
her as one of the coolest women around.

She recently got engaged, and I can tell that
her fiancée' has been smitten with her from day
one.

He considers himself the luckiest guy around,
and knows that she's the one special woman for
him.

Period.

If you haven't downloaded my eBook to read
specifically about how and why men are
INSTINCTIVELY drawn to "cool girls", then you MUST
check it out.

You'll not only get the "inside scoop" on what
men see in "cool girls", but you'll also get
specific tips on what makes a "cool girl". There
are simple changes any woman can make in her
communication and in her behavior with men that
can make all the difference with the level of
connection and attraction a man feels for you.

Go here to check out all the details:

http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/11020/eBook

So what is it that separates the "cool" girls
from the "uncool" girls?

What is "cool"?

What is it that makes a few rare people the
kind of people that EVERYONE wants to be around
and spend their time with?

And what is it about UN-cool women that makes
men withdraw and resist any level of real
connection and commitment?

And what is it about this element that I'm
calling "cool" that makes women who have it
attract more men than they can handle, to where
guys will literally fight to be the only one?

THE DEFINITION OF A "COOL GIRL"

I personally think that being "cool" comes down
to:

1) Being Independent In Your Thoughts

2) Being Comfortable Without "Control"

3) Being "Present"

4) Observing Your Emotions

Before I get into each of these in detail, I
want to mention something...

Usually, I tend to stick to concepts and ideas
to help you think about men, dating and
relationships in new ways, or give you advice to
get you past limiting beliefs and patterns, and
give you new understandings about men, etc.

I've realized recently that there are a few
BASIC, FUNDAMENTAL things that you need to really
"get" about interacting with other people before
you start trying to learn advanced stuff, like how
to communicate with a man about your relationship,
when his uncertainty might throw you for a loop.
If you don't have some of the basic things
handled, all the fancy ideas in the world won't
help you.

So stick with me here, this is important.

OK, so let's talk about the four components
that I mentioned above.

BEING INDEPENDENT IN YOUR THOUGHTS

Independent is the OPPOSITE of "dependent".

When you act "dependent", you lean on others,
you look to them for approval, you ask what they
think before you make a decision, you tend to want
to stay physically close to them, and your
feelings tend to depend on what others feel and
think of you.

When you act INDEPENDENT, you lean back, you do
things because YOU decided you wanted to, you
don't ask others what they think - instead you
decide for yourself that you are fine walking away
from your friends for a while when you're out, and
your feelings are controlled by what YOU think,
not what others think or feel.

A "dependent" person will go out with a friend,
stick close to them all night, ask what everyone
else is eating before they order, get upset easily
about things that others say, and constantly be
looking for attention and approval in some way.

An INDEPENDENT person, on the other hand, will
go out with friends and be more likely to... walk
around the place to see who's there - and feel
fine about striking up a conversation with a
friendly new face... They'll be cool and calm no
matter what happens - even if others are getting
upset around them... And, most importantly, they
aren't looking to others for attention and
approval. They're doing their own thing, and
enjoying whatever happens because that's what they
want - to enjoy themselves no matter what.

BEING COMFORTABLE WITHOUT "CONTROL"

Have you ever stopped and realized that it
seems like you are the only one doing all the
thinking and communicating in your relationship
with a man?

Maybe it's that way because of the VACUUM that
he leaves by not communicating with you...

But what if it was ALSO the case that you had
compensated for him by taking "CONTROL" of the
relationship, and constantly talking about YOUR
desires, fears and frustrations - since he's not
sharing his?

How do you think that changes the way a man
sees you? And your relationship?

Most people in this world are intensely
ATTACHED to the outcomes of things. They're
constantly worrying about what's going to
happen... and talking about the future in a
fearful, uncertain way.

This type of person always wants to know what
other people think of them, and they're worrying
about what they should do so other people will
like them and keep giving them what they want from
them.

Unfortunately, this almost ALWAYS comes across
as INSECURITY on some level.

A person who isn't so deeply ATTACHED to each
and every immediate outcome, on the other hand,
takes things as they come, and handles them calmly
as part of everyday life.

They know life includes sharp turns and
unexpected changes, and aren't resistant and
frightened by them.

If it's a woman, and she's talking to a man,
she will be OK with whatever happens. If he's open
and affectionate with her, great. If he's uptight
and acting distant, no big deal in that moment.

When you are ATTACHED to the outcome of a
situation so strongly that it makes you want to
control the way another person thinks or feels, it
often makes you act crazy.

You pause, act nervous, hold back, look for
approval, act insecure, over-analyze, complain...
and any of 100 other fear-riddled ways of being.

On the other hand, when you're comfortable with
not CONTROLLING the outcome to be exactly what you
want in that moment, and you know that the world
is bigger than what you're focusing on, it makes
you MAGNETIC.

Especially when it comes to men and dating.

Comfort in the face of uncertainty is the
ultimate way to show a LACK of insecurity in life.

BEING "PRESENT"

There's nothing more INTOXICATING for a man
than a woman who knows how to get him out of his
head, and his "rational" thinking, and draw him
into being close and emotionally connected.

And women who can do this WITHOUT pushing a man
to get there with them, or complaining when he's
not as quick to respond as they'd like, have an
even bigger advantage when it comes to men wanting
to spend their time with them.

There's one magic quality that will instantly
allow you to do all this - as though you've been a
pro at it all your life...

It's called being "present".

The easiest way to explain being present is to
remind you how you get when you're playing sports
or you're driving.

Things are happening so fast, and you're so
completely immersed in what you're doing, that a
few extraordinary things happen without you having
to "try":

- You tune out everything that doesn't involve
what's at hand.

- The "chatter" of your mind goes completely
silent.

- You instantly accept each new thing that is
introduced into your environment without judgment
and resistance.

If you think through these three qualities or
experiences, you'll see that you find these going
on in each and every deep, loving and connected
interaction you have.

These are the ingredients to feeling the way
you'd probably like to feel with a man, and for
him feeling amazing things with you.

But you've got to let go of what you think
needs to happen to get there.

OBSERVING YOUR EMOTIONS

I know that this sounds funny, but most of the
people I know who are "UN-cool", and don't
naturally attract others to want to be around
them, are not very good at managing THEIR OWN
emotions.

And here's where I always get pushback about
the value of emotions...

For the record, I see emotions as valuable and
important.

They make life fulfilling, and give us depth
and meaning we would never have without them.

But what I'm talking about is getting to a
place where you are CONSCIOUS of how your emotions
work... and knowing yourself well enough to
separate the intense emotions inside you from the
events of the outside world and your own behavior.

That way you have a CHOICE about what to do
with your emotions.

In a sense, this is one of the greatest
purposes and goals in life - to figure out how to
have the emotional experiences you dream of.

And then learn to share these with others.

So... how are YOU doing at this?

Do you "own" your emotions and guide them?

Or are they guiding you most of the time?

Interesting...

Now... is this all there is to being a "cool
girl"?

Is this all there is to being the kind of woman
a man is naturally drawn to on a physical AND a
deep emotional level?

Of course not.

But it's a great start.

If you can first get yourself to the place
where you're comfortable and confident with your
creating your own emotional experience, and having
it be the kind of experience a man will want to
share, then you'll find that taking things to the
next level with men will be about 10 times easier.

I've had this conversation with MANY women I
know who are in loving, lasting relationships with
men - and they all basically say the same thing...

You have to learn how to be comfortable and get
to a place on your own where you make others (men)
feel comfortable being with you, at any time. And
if you're what men call a "cool girl", this
happens almost instantly and all by itself.

If you're not what men think of as a "cool
girl", then you're going to have a hard time
making ANYONE feel comfortable with you on a real
level... never mind having a man feel a deep
CONNECTION and LASTING ATTRACTION for you.

Now, I also realize that a lot of the materials
that I teach in my "Natural & Lasting Attraction"
CD/DVD Program are aimed at this EXACT topic -
being the kind of woman that understands men and
relationships in a way that will lead THE MAN to
ask YOU for a commitment and bring you both closer
together.

I can't tell you how many women email me after
they get this program and tell me that they wish
they had seen what I teach 10 years earlier,
because it would have saved them so much time and
wasted energy with men.

It's great to hear that I could help them with
their loves lives, and I wish I could have helped
them have the success and fulfillment they're
having sooner.

The truth is, it's taken me literally YEARS to
put all the pieces together as a man, and boil
down the real-world truth about how and why a man
feels attracted to a woman so deeply that he'll
want to find a way to keep it going and make it
last.

That's why I invite you to take advantage of
the time, effort, energy, and money I've invested
to discover, refine, and organize all of the step-
by-step strategies, insights and exercises.

Save yourself years of wasted time not having
the relationship and the love you know is possible
with a man.

The puzzle pieces are here for you to look at
and finally put together with how to make a man
FEEL, deep down, that gut-level emotional
attraction that will keep you together.

Create the love and the emotional experience
you want today, and get out of the patterns of
resistance, withdrawal and UNCERTAINTY about
whether or not a man is going to want to stay.

I'm so confident that my Natural & Lasting
Attraction program will give you a solid
foundation and help bring a lasting relationship
into your life, here's what I'll do...

I'll ship the program to your doorstep right
now and let you try it at ZERO cost for a full 30
days.

If you're not completely thrilled, and you
don't get immediate results in your love life,
then just send it back to me and you'll pay
nothing.

No questions asked. No excuses needed.

It's that simple to bring growth and change
into your love life right now.

a brief moment of darkness........

2006-08-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

A brief moment of darkness\

was all that I knew,

before Heaven's Gate came into my view

.Loved ones and friendsI had missed

for many years

,welcomed me with open armsand many happy tears

.All the hurt, fear and pain

that I have ever known,

is gone from my life,I

am finally home.

I gazed upon the Lord'ssweet smiling face,

and for the first time in my life..........

I knew and felt His grace.

I know that you miss me,

but please dry your eyes.

I will always be watching and.......

loving youfrom my home in the sky

.A cool breeze on your face,

a touch of light rain,

I will send as a reminderthat

we will be reunited again.

Life on earth is but one brief moment in.......

time,I am finally home,Eternity is mine.

exclusive for girls^^^

2006-07-25T04:52:00.000-07:00

Ever notice how a man will "court" you, pursueyou, and do all kinds of amazing and romanticthings to win your heart as you're getting to knoweach other... But, after a little while, the romance,passion, and intimacy that he used to be soexcited about and create, starts to "fizzle out"once you're into a committed relationship? If you've ever found yourself in a situationwith a man who you knew was a great guy but hestarted acting immature, depended on you for toomany things (and didn't appreciate you for them)and all the while you kept giving more and more totry and make things work better and keep you
closerwhy so many women endup in unfulfilling relationships with men who"TAKE TAKE TAKE", and why these women so often endup getting little back for all their efforts. First off, tell me if this sounds at allfamiliar... You meet a great guy and you start dating. The "chemistry" is simply AMAZING and you can'tbelieve how into connecting and sharing he is...even on that emotional level where other men oftenfall flat. You spend time together and keep growingcloser, and you start to believe that maybe you'vefinally found that amazing friend, companion andlover all in one. He's so open and caring... and listens and paysattention to you and what's going with you in away that few men you've met can. Your connection is unbelievable. You both know you can count on each other inways that feel like you're closer than you havebeen with a man in a long, long time. Since you're both so close, he starts to dependon you for a few things in his life... and you'rehappy to help him since you really care about himand are a generous and loving person. But, as time goes on, something starts toslowly "shift". It starts with small things... He starts acting a little differently, andstops doing a lot of the things he used to do thatmade you admire and respect him. Somehow, he seems less confident, present, and"connected" with you. And then you notice... There's something different about how hedepends on you, and it sets off your "radar". You start to wonder if how he is with you isentirely healthy. You start to feel "drained" with him and withthe relationship more and more... but you knowthat a relationship is about give and take, so youkeep giving and have faith that things are goingfine. More time passes and you start to noticesomething else... You see that he isn't becoming moreappreciative of all the things you're doing forhim and your relationship. In fact, it feels like he's starting to takemore and more of it for granted. Actually, he seems LESS APPRECIATIVE of you andyour relationship in general. He starts asking and depending on you evenmore, without any real thanks or reciprocation. The more he does this, the more you sense thatthere's a kind of needy "childishness" inside himthat's becoming clearer. You want to be there for him and be a greatpartner... but you also want that fun, strong,playful, loving, confident man back who was therebefore things changed. With all this going on, you're not exactly sureof what to do about it or what's going on for himthat's making him act this way. He doesn't seem to pay you the same attention,give the same affection and support that you givehim, and it's starting to feel unfair and botheryou. Your relationship is starting to feel like it'sall about making sure "he's" happy. Which of course doesn't leave much room forwhat's going on for YOU. You know things can't go on this way if yourrelationship is going to work and be somethingworthwhile and "real". He's got to see what's going on and stop beingso self-involved. You know that he's had some challenges in hisown life and maybe he just doesn't see what'sgoing on. So, you decide to not make a big dealout of it. But, you know that something needs tochange... soon. So, you finally decide to talk to him aboutwhat's going on. You go over in your head again and again whatyou're going to say to him and what's been goingon for the last several months. You're sure that he'll see what's beenhappening and all the things you've been doing forhim and the relationship, and he'll give you someunderstanding. But when you talk to him, it doesn't work outthis way... AT ALL. Instead of hearing you and your intentions toget things back to a better place between you two,he just becomes frustrated, irritated andDEFENSIVE with you. Instead of hearing you, he makes you feel likeyou're "nagging" him and creating "drama". He even acts like you're the one beingridiculous and withdraws from you. Does any of this sound familiar to you? This situation where you know you're giving andgetting less than nothing back SUCKS. And unfortunately, it's a common experiencelots of women have in relationships with men. Now, there are about 50 things I could tell youabout how men are at fault and create theseproblems for themselves and for you in yourrelationship. But the reality is that you've already spenthours thinking about this before and have a lot ofyour own ideas about this. That is partially why I'm NOT going to talkabout what's going on with men here and what to doabout it. At least not yet. Right now we're going to talk about YOU. Why? Because thinking about YOURSELF is the firststep towards real GROWTH and AWARENESS in EVERYRELATIONSHIP you have in your life. You could spend days, weeks, months or yearsworrying about a man, what he thinks, and why hedoes the things he does. But if you want to be smart... And you want relationships to start "working"for you, instead of seeming like a neverendingsource of frustration and disappointment trying toget a man to make the relationship work... Then you'll make sure you have things handledfor yourself first. And that way you'll have the CERTAINTY thatonly comes from understanding what's happening inthe relationship around you... and what YOU needto do in each situation that comes up with a man. THE ONE QUESTION THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIPWITH A MAN INSTANTLY If you're at the most basic levels of what Icall "emotional maturity" in your life, thenyou've started to recognize something veryimportant and significant about yourself... You've recognized that you have a few PATTERNScoming up in your relationships. Of course, some of these patterns are positivetraits that bring benefits, center around yourpersonal preferences, and involve things you bringinto your life CONSCIOUSLY and for good reason. But the reality is these aren't the only kindof patterns you have in your life. You also have a special group of "negativepatterns". Patterns that you save just for MEN. So, let me ask you a very simple question. It's a question that could very well change thecourse of your love life IMMEDIATELY once youanswer it. Here's the question - Do you know your "negative patterns" inrelationships with men? You might have a few of these that you alreadyknow about that you can rattle off in your headright now without really thinking about it. THESE ARE NOT THE PATTERNS I'M LOOKING FOR TOIMPROVE YOUR LOVE LIFE. You already know about these patterns and thisknowledge still doesn't seem to be helping you ifyou're running into the same issues and situationsagain and again. Which is why it's obvious that "what" youalready know isn't going to help you learn andgrow past these situations with men for good. You need to expand your PERSPECTIVE. That's why I'm looking for the patterns thatyou DON'T see right now, and that you aren'tCONSCIOUS of. Here's where we're going to take ACTION... Right now, I want you to give yourself the timeand space for the next 5 minutes to think aboutyour own patterns in your past or presentrelationships with men. And, I want you to put everything else asidejust for a few short moments while you focus onYOURSELF. By the way, if you don't have time to do thisnow, then you probably never will. And, I know it's a simple question, but theAWARENESS and GROWTH that can come from youranswer is what's going to change your love lifeimmediately. So now that you've made the time, I want youto think about the following - I want you to come up with at least TWO of yourown negative relationship patterns with men. And I don't just mean patterns that are reallyabout men... such as "I always pick men that areclueless about loving relationships." This is focusing on HIM, not YOU. I mean something like "I meet men and quicklyspend all my time with them. But soon I see thatI've "lost myself" and I am not able to have ahealthy balance. And inevitably, we end upbreaking up and I resent all the time I spent onthe relationship and him, instead of spending moretime on myself." That's one common example lots of women haveexperienced. Now, it's your turn. I want you to come up with 2 other patternsthat have to do with YOU and things that come fromYOUR THINKING or BEHAVIOR.What if the problems that come up in yournegative pattern are caused by these traits? And what if the traits in your negativepattern didn't represent just your personalWEAKNESSES? What if they ALSO represented your personalSTRENGTHS at the same time? If you were thinking that you should get rid ofthe trait or quality entirely that's involved inyour negative pattern so that things will workbetter in the future... then you're going to thatplace of "All or Nothing Thinking". There's a lot of power and AWARENESS created inwhat you just did when you think about it... IFyou stay aware of this when you're interactingwith a man in your relationship. When you see how your WEAKNESSES, that you'vebeen giving yourself a hard time about and tryingto figure out how to get rid of, are also part ofyour STRENGTHS... things you never could haveunderstood will start to become clear to you. Challenges, issues, attitudes and hurtfulthings that a man brings to you that relate toyour patterns, and these traits will start to lookdifferently to you... And you'll start to have an amazing sense ofCLARITY about what's the best thing to do for you,for him, and for your relationship. A "STRANGE TRUTH" ABOUT THE PEOPLE ANDRELATIONSHIPS YOU ATTRACT IN LIFE AND LOVE You've got some basic tools to work with now tounderstand more about what's going on with you andyour relationship with a man. But it really only starts here. Are you CLEAR on how these 2 patterns come upin your life? Do you know how to avoid "All or NothingThinking" the next time it comes up and tries tocreate DISTANCE between you and a man. Do you know where these thoughts come from andwhat to do to stay conscious and overcome thenegative aspects of your other destructiverelationship patterns? Do you know how to guide a man to start doingthese same things to improve HIMSELF and the wayhe is in your relationship, so you don't have totry and convince him of what's going on that hecan't see or isn't paying attention to? Most women who aren't in a happy, healthy,loving, lasting relationship don't have thisknowledge and the ability to stay connected with aman that comes along with it. The strange truth is, patterns aren't justcoincidences in your life. They keep repeating in your life for a reason. What are the lessons that keep coming up foryou in your love life that you can't learn fromwhere you are today, but keep coming at you? The reality is that you have a choice... You can keep repeating these patterns, andexperiencing the pain and frustration that comeswith them again and again... This is the "easy" choice that doesn't ask orrequire you to learn and grow at all. OR... You can create a "shift" in your life. You can choose to have more AWARENESS and moreGROWTH... which will of course bring new ways ofseeing things, and best of all, NEW RESULTS inyour relationship. The choice is yours right now. I've put together what I think is the VERY BESTprogram just for a woman like you that will createthe GROWTH and AWARENESS you're looking for inyour love life. It's called "From Casual To Committed". If you've ever wondered why you get "stuck"with a man once you get to a certain level ofconnection and intimacy... and then things seem togo backwards and he withdraws... then this programis going to change your life and yourrelationship. One of the most critical things that's going oninside a relationship when a "casual", or even acommitted relationship, starts to wrong, eventhough there's no lack of love or caring betweenthe man and woman, is FEAR. And I don't just mean YOUR FEARS... I'm talkingabout a HIS FEARS too. Inside this CD/DVD program I go DEEP into whatfear is in relationships, how it works into theentire relationship "system"... and how to breakout of the negative cycles and patterns of FEARthen ANGER then WITHDRAWAL. There's a reason why most men pull away andsabotage perfectly good, loving relationshipswith women. And there's a reason why YOUR FEARS are onlymaking these things with a man WORSE. There are clear steps that you can take tochange your love life and relationship, no matterwhere you are right now with a man. Shifting your PERSPECTIVE and becoming MORECONSCIOUS is your first step... some of whichwe've touched on here. You can stop the unnecessary PATTERNS. You can come to terms with, and understand, theFEARS. And you can find out, once and for all, why itis that men so often put up RESISTANCE to becomingmore connected, closer and MORE COMMITTED with YOUon a physical and emotional level. Don't let go of this opportunity to haveLASTING CHANGE and IMPROVEMENT to the quality ofyour love life and all your relationships.

smart or popular?

2006-07-20T05:43:00.000-07:00

I know there are lot of people who are nerds in school, and they are tell the same story,

there is a strong correlation between being nerd and being popular. Being smart seems to make you unpopular.
Why? For someone who is still studying, that may seem like an odd question to ask. The key to this mystery is to rephrase the question: why don’t smart kids make themselves popular? If they’re so smart, why don’t they figure out how popularity works and beat the system just as they do the standardized tests?
So if intelligence doesn’t boost one’s popularity, why are smart kids so consistently unpopular? The answer I believe, is that they don’t really want to be popular.
But if someone told me that earlier, I would have laughed at him. Being unpopular makes kids school life’s miserable. Some of the kids felt so miserable that they dropped out or worse, hurt themselves. Telling me that I didn’t want to be popular would have seemed like telling someone to dying of thirst in the desert that he didn’t want a glass of water. Of course I wanted to be popular.
In fact, I didn’t, or I didn’t want it badly enough. There was something else I wanted more, which was to be smart. And that meant not just doing well in school, though that counted for something, but also designing powerful rockets, or writing well, or knowing how to program computers. In general, making great things.
I never tried to separate my wants and to weigh them against each other. If I had, I would have seen that being smart was very important if someone had offered me the chance to be most popular kid in school but at the price of having below- average intelligence, I wouldn’t have taken it.
Much as they suffer from unpopularity, I don’t think many nerds would either. But most kids would take that deal. For would many of them, it would be a step up.
And that, I think is the root of the problem. Nerds serve two masters: they want to be popular, but they want even more to be smart. And popularity is not something you can do in your spare time, not in the fiercely competitive environment of the secondary school.
The main reason nerds are unpopular is that they have other things to think about. Their attention is drawn to books of the natural world, not fashion and parties. While nerds are being trained to get the best answers, popular kids are trained to please.
Few smart kids can spare the time that popularity requires. Unless they also happen to be good looking, natural athletes, or siblings of popular kids, they tend to be nerds. And that’s y smart people are most miserable between the ages of 11- to 17. at that age popularity seems to be – all important. No wonder, smart kids are most unhappy in intermediate school and high school. Their other interests leave them with little time to work on their popularity, and since it is zero- sum game, these make them targets for the whole school.
Nerds who are still in school should not hold their breath, but maybe one day a heavily armed force of adults might rescue them. But they probably won’t be coming this month. Any immediate improvement in the nerds lives is probably going to have to come from the nerds themselves.
Merely understanding the situation they’re in should make it less painful. Nerds aren’t losers. They’re just paying a different game, a game that is much closer to the one played in the real world. Adults know this. Its hard to find successful adults who don’t claim to have been nerds in school.
It’s important for nerds to realize, too, that school is not life. School is strange, artificial thing, half sterile, and half feral, but it isn’t the real thing. It’s only temporary, and if they look, they can see beyond it even while they’re still in it.

who said the world is fair?

2006-07-17T03:50:00.000-07:00

If you expect it to be fair, you’ll be in great disappointments. World moves, every time when trials come unto you and you stop on fighting for it, nothing will happen to you. When life gives you a blow, there is nothing to you can do but to bounce back.
Life is a series of dreams, when one dream fall apart. Don’t be afraid to look for another one, that’s what life is all about. It was a series of battles that may inflict pain but it was the very pain that made one a better person. “what doesn’t kill you make you stronger ” – that showed that pain was really a part of the development process of a person.

“I fail id go mad if I couldn’t catch a glimpse of you
I got scared when I realized. I might be falling inlove with you
You are an added complication in my life
But then , not having you in it, was sheer hell for me.”

Life is a bed of roses and why god created our life because he has the reasons too. If its happiness a person could ever get how could she appreciate life? Much better that after the sacrifices and trials you can get trough.. as said, that all is well, ends well.

we can be a better person

2006-07-17T03:29:00.000-07:00

“Some people misunderstood my attitude,
Some people get hurt the way I talk
Some people get angry coz of my indifference
But that’s the real me.
And I don’t need to pretend just to please anybody”

Being an aquarius girl

Aquarians are known for having the sunniest outlook in life-------- maybe that’s the reason why I can able to smile more……

Aquarians believe that their life quirks and idiosyncracies make them stand out in a good way. They determined to make a difference in the world.

Aquarians are probably never without a friend. They have a special way of connecting with the people they need and have a knock for forming the special bonds of friendship.

Aquarians are made of sensitive stuff. They aren’t just sensitive about other’s peoples needs, they’re also vulnerable when it comes to their own feelings.

Aquarians know how to deal with their feelings, accept and try to do something about it.

How am I living my life

FIND YOUR PASSION

Be as flexible a possible. Don’t write your plan for your lif on stone. Chances are some thing will happen in your life, an opportunity you did’nt come close to expecting that shows itself as clear and concrete option for you to take for the rest of your life. Don’t live up to anyone else expectations. But your own, you will know within your heart what a good standard or anything should be..

KEEP CALM
Life can be unnerving and if u don’t make an effort to keep collectd and focused, you could easily lose your cool, take regular conscious deep breaths to calm and center yourself.

KEEP YOUR CHIN UP

Not it is only good for your posture and diminishes your double chin, it also helps you maintain an “ I can handle this” attitude. By keeping your chin up, you can keep your head above water.

KEEP YOUR SPIRITS HIGH

Always maintain a positive and joyful attitude, remember that no one can perk you up like yourself, keep your spirits high when the going gets rough by focusing on your dreams and counting on your blessings.

KEEP YOUR WORD

True measure of a man is… if he keep his word, honorable and trustworthy is the man who stands by his promises it is important to think well before speaking because once a word is uttered and released into the universe its vibrations can no longer erased.

KEEP ABREAST OF TIMES

The world is moving too fast. Know what’s happening, what’s in style. What’s accourant, what’s relevant, what’s important. Learn the hottest trends and the latest in tech. don’t be left behind.

KEEP GREAT MEMORIES

In the very end, good memories of life are what we will left with, not the jewels or riches that, we cant bring when we finally go. Live each moment beautifully. These magical moments create a magnificient life.

KEEP OUT OF DANGER

He who exposes himself/herself to danger will probably finds it. Don’t court danger. Avoid it. As they ay “ an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure”

STAND OUT, DON’T FIT IN

If you fit in, because you happen to like each other, then that’s cool. “ in my group of friends, were all individual, how we dress, how we speak,. But we all firt in because we love the unique things about each other.” Be cognizant about your gift, sometimes a teacher/family will tell you what that gift is. Listen to your heart and realize what that gift might be.

KEEP ON BELIEVING

Belief is the mother of reality. What you believe becomes your truth. Believe in yourself. Believe in the magic of universe. Believe in the power of your dreams. Most of all believe you can do it. So you can have all your hearts desire. Never lose hope. Tomorrow will be another day. That will bring new hope and blessings. Keep faith in the abundance of the universe and the mystery and the perfection of life, hope for nothing but the best.

KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

People talk too much, we language ourselves to or own destruction and defeat. Know when to talk and when to shut up. Oftentimes silence speaks more eloquently than words.

DEALING WITH MOM

You only got one mom, but it’s a two way thing. It cant be one party bending on the other ones. Well, you have to recognized there are going to be arguments, there are days when you say. Ok, this woman was a curse brought to me Satan by himself, but other times you cant live without this woman in your life and your going to need her in your life no matter what happens..love your mom

HOLD OUT ON LOVE

The thrill of finally being in a teenage year might lead you to hook up with the first cutie who will whisper sweet nothings into your ear. Take time to meet as many prospects as you can. Who knows? You might just be waiting for Mr. Right.
Let yourself!. Before you finally fall in love with the right person, you’ve got to get a lot of practice with the few of the wrong ones. Its not a fairy tale- you wanna be with your first boyfriend for the rest of your life but the reality is.. it does’nt always bound to happen.
Girls go into falling in love with a very clear thought that this might be the person I am inlove now and as the rose colored grass fade away, you discover that what their faults are, what you don’t like, and what you cant tolerate. Take those lessons with you and then move on, you also have to learn when to break up with someone.

changes

2006-07-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

changes

have u?...........

2006-07-15T02:42:00.000-07:00

have you ever been in a relationship with a man where every time conflict comes up you're pushedfarther and farther apart and things just keepgetting worse?
And because of this, have you ever becomeafraid of how a man is going to react to you andyour feelings?
To the point where you start "censoring"yourself and holding things in... even though youknow it's important for you both to share how youfeel if things are going to work out?
I know I've seen more than my fair share ofrelationships where something was just "off" withhow the couple communicated.
And instead of talking and sharing in a waythat builds trust and encourages listening andunderstanding, each conversation ends up ADDINGTENSION and creates MORE DISTANCE.
And what can be even more confusing is thatthese kinds of relationships often have a lot of"chemistry"... but as you might know, this doesn'tmean there's a deeper emotional connection that'sbeing built.
If you get what I'm talking about, then youknow what it's like to have an amazing"connection" with someone on several levels... butALSO to feel like it can be IMPOSSIBLE tocommunicate and be heard in your relationship.
If you've had a relationship like this in yourlife, or you're in one, then you probably realizethat relationships like this don't tend to LAST.
Or at the very least, they are VERY UNSTABLEand UNCERTAIN - making both people feel burnt outand frustrated.
The truth is disagreements and conflicts are afact of life. But most women and men don't knowhow to approach these "speed bumps" in aproductive, compassionate, honest, healthy waythat will keep a long term relationship alive andthriving.
So then what happens?
Resentment builds, your partner grows distant,and the loving, fun, effortless affection thatused to be there so often disappears, and you'releft with a lot of "work" just to try and have apartner.
And forget about intimacy, deep emotionalconnection and passion.
If any of this sounds familiar or concerns you,there's good news:
There IS a solution. You CAN improve yourcommunication skills when it comes to difficulttimes in a relationship AND in the process, growand become a more mature, emotionally healthywoman. Which is what "naturally" attracts a man towant to be with a woman in the long run.
I just finished up a FASCINATING interview witha woman who has quite literally "cracked the code"on resolving conflicts with men in a way that willlead you to even DEEPER connection and intimacyinside your relationship today.